You Gotta Get Up.

It’s hard to fight the funk.

Lately, I’ve been battling with thoughts of being in the way. Being in the way of my goals and milestones. Being in the way of others and their own progression at my expense. These past few months have been the most transformative as I’m preparing to step completely out of my comfort zone, and embark on a brand new beginning.With that, there’s been a lot of new changes in my life that have required a lot of community. I’m in one of the most vulnerable spaces I’ve been in for quite some time. It’s uncomfortable, as it should be. But it can also make you question a lot if you’re used to doing it all on your own.

Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. (4)

One of the best parts about these past few months is being able to step back into church and embracing my church family. In a recent sermon, the pastor made a remark about the acronym: “TIS” or “SIT”.

T – Thoughts

I – Influence

S- Suggestions

He says it’s easy to stumble when the Enemy tries to gain influence over you in the only way he knows how to – your mind. His impact can effect your thoughts, which then becomes an influence, and a suggestion for you to do something that you shouldn’t.

Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. (5)

When I think about this acronym, I think about the many ways I’ve allowed myself to feel small. It’s been xx months, and I still haven’t gotten this part of my life together, or I’m still struggling to find my footing in media, or I’m still attracting men who don’t value me the way I value them, or I’m feeling alone because my community is distant.

These thoughts are the catalyst for a downward spiral.

Me not having my life together must mean I’m not meant to have one.

Me not finding my footing in media must mean I won’t ever be seen in this industry.

Me attracting the wrong men must mean I’m not capable of ever finding love.

My loneliness must have a direct impact on who I am.

These thoughts all suggest one thing: quitting. Quitting on life. Quitting on trying. Quitting on loving. Quitting on existing. Quitting on your goals/hopes/dreams.

Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. (6)

I can’t say that I take pride on quitting anything, but it almost became an easy choice for me. Coming off of last year’s car accident, and the downward spiral of things that erupted from that, every day is a new journey and a process. We are no longer living in our past, but that doesn’t mean that more obstacles won’t stir up old feelings.

I’ve had to remind myself that God makes no mistakes. Only I do. And there’s a purpose behind that. DJ Khaled says: “failure is a major opportunity to learn something.” The mistakes you make teach you not to make those again. The mistakes you make show you that there is another way, another option to achieve what you want.  But you’ve got to be willing to take the risk. And no, it won’t feel easy. It won’t feel great. But it’s a powerful risk that leads to a powerful change.

It’s hard to fight the funk, but you gotta get UP.

A word that stuck with me from hearing P. Diddy speak at the REVOLT Summit is: “As long as you keep getting up, that’s going to inspire other people to keep getting up.”

Your responsibility is not always your own. But your dedication to self is. 

 

The Road Less Traveled

“Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

We hear the saying all the time — that all good things must come to an end. Well, I say, great things never see a stopping point.

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On June 20, 2016, a small town girl put on her city boots and embarked on the most important journey of her life: becoming a news producer at her first love – Live 5 News.

I remember coming home every single day growing up, and my mom blocking time on the TV from 5 p.m. – 6:30 p.m. so she could see what her news of the day was. And don’t you dare touch that remote any time in between. Before the night is over, she’s checking back into the 11 p.m. show because she needed to know if we were walking out the door with jackets for school in the morning.

Fast forward to post-grad life after the University of South Carolina, and it’s me becoming a part of that voice, helping to provide that feeling of safety for other families, and hoping that there is a mom, or father, an auntie or a grandparents that depended on, and was more than satisfied with what was being projected on their screens.

Over the last few years, I’ve learned something so important about my journey as a journalist: I can do this. And if I can do this, I can do anything.

From dreaming of being able to work with those I see on my T-V Screens, to living that lifestyle, and making a difference one story at a time.

To late nights, and missed holidays with families and friends, to laughs, and tears, to successes and sometimes a not-so good show.

I’ve been placed in a position to provide assistance, motivate change in and showcase the people and unique places that make up the Holy City.

I learned.

I grew.

And for that, I’m thankful.

Thankful for brand new opportunities.

Thankful for a journey that opened my mind, and my heart.

No journey is perfect, or ever easy, but you must always find meaning in the path you walk.

So with that I say, cheers to a new chapter, and thank you to everyone I have met along this journey that has become my forever family.

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Getting Back to Me

2017 was all about growth and creating a solid foundation.

On January 1, 2017, I entered this year on the worst term possible. I was struggling with my relationship. Struggling with my self esteem both personally and professionally. I had maintained a lifestyle in Charleston doing my career that I love wholeheartedly, and not being able to afford to live the lifestyle I was “living” in.

But as the saying goes, it’s not how you start. It’s how you finish.

In February, my rocky relationship came to a traumatic end. I would be broken down in the worst way, and would have to find myself again.

In March, I decided to step out on faith with my goals and shifted my focus to The Conqueror Movement, which is my communications platform that serves as a connecting point for Black millennial creatives and professionals. With the help of my two best friends, we created “Falling In Love With Your Passion”. This event would host 50 people in one room, most of who I had never met before personally. The idea of this event was to encourage Black creators that what you do and what you’re passionate about, you must maintain a relationship with it. It must be something that you dedicate your time and energy to as if it were a one on one relationship. It would be the successful catalyst for a great year for my platform. My solid team would go on to create several events and opportunities throughout the year that would help these creators grow, learn and evolve, such as monthly brunch meetups, an annual celebration , of the company, and a documentary showing called “Find Your Light” . But not only did these projects help others, they allowed me to get back to myself and see what my true potential is.

I was pushed in ways I had never been pushed. Pushed to persevere. Pushed to trust the process. Pushed to trust others.

Now that I think of it, that would be the foundation of what I learned this year about myself and what I would learn I need to do for myself.

I learned that energy can be toxic if it’s wrong. Be protective of yours and don’t allow others to steal your joy.

My life experiences are constantly shaping me, and that’s important.

new year 2018_3

If you cannot learn from what you do, what you see around you, and even the people you find yourself around, you are doing things wrong.

Looking ahead, I want to be more open about the things I have experienced so that those things can help others. I also want to be more real with myself about where I am, where I want to be, and just learning how to be more unapologetic.

In 2018, you will see a lot more from me, starting with this website.

Things have changed since I last debuted it on my birthday, May 30 of 2015. I have acquired my dream job, I have grown from a youngin’ to a young woman, and I am more confident in my abilities. You no longer need to see the labor of my work, you know what I’m capable of. The question now is: Who Is Khadijah?

You will find out alot more than you could imagine.

Going into the new year, I hope you will visualize your biggest fear and conquer it. I hope you won’t let it define you.

Stay tuned, friends.

Because Life Is: About Celebrating your Victories

It’s been two years now since I launched my very own website, and two years since I vowed that I would use it as a way to create memories and projects that I can be proud of. Here we are at the top of 2017, almost done with month one! I feel like there is so much in store for the year, and even though the challenges are unforeseeable, I’m learning how to celebrate myself and things I do well, and appreciating the harder moments when things may not always go as planned.

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Last year, I couldn’t have imagined I would’ve accomplished as much as I did. As I discussed in my previous blog piece, “Because Life Is: About Being Humble”  there were many things I fought hard for that I didn’t know if I would ever achieve. Now, I’m embracing a more confident side of myself that knows I deserve those things…and will continue to strive for the very best.

A big part of that new found confidence is learning how to simply say “thank you” when someone notices your hard work. A big thing for me is that I could never bring myself to say those words. I always combatted them with a compliment to the other person, or shrugged it off as no big deal. But, in fact it is!

Learning how to recognize that hard work goes into everything I do is an inner fight, but it’s necessary. Because if I don’t recognize it, how can others who barely know who I  am do the same? Being your own worst critic is no excuse to shrug away every accomplishment as something you “just did for fun” or “because you had to”.

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So, I’ve begun to use thank you a little more. And I’ve begun to really meditate and focus on the things that I’ve done well that will hopefully push me to further excel and produce great works.

How do you get over humility versus self doubt?

  1. Write a list of the biggest things that you’ve done that either surprised you, or you feel you really did well and tried hard at this.
  2. Take a look at that list, post it if you need to! Then really pat yourself on the back, because those are things at some point in life you didn’t know how to do.
  3. When someone offers you a compliment, say thank you. Even if you don’t believe it at first, they do! Write it down, and post it on your wall, or someplace you can always see it. I guarantee you, the way you see yourself will begin to transform.

Serving yourself up compliments, or better yet acknowledgement, is not cocky. It is  necessary. How are we making sure that we continue to bring our very best to the table each and every single time? We can’t do that if we don’t learn to recognize our accomplishments for ourselves.

So, start celebrating those small victories!